The hardest job that I’ve ever had

I have had several jobs in my lifetime.  Some of them, I was really good at.  Other’s like being a waitress, I was horrible at.  I would definitely say that being a mom is the hardest job that I’ve ever had.  From the moment I found out that I was pregnant, I worried.  When both my son and my daughter were born healthy, I was so thankful.  When they were babies, I would watch them sleep for hours.  They were so peaceful and satisfied.  I can’t even count the number of pictures that I have taken of them in their lifetime.  There were good times such as watching them learn to ride their bikes or having them on my lap while we watched movies.  Of course there were bad times like when they told me I was mean and they didn’t like me.  When they cried, I was always there to try to fix whatever was upsetting them. It was really hard for me when they started to get older and didn’t need my help anymore.  I always wanted to keep them as close to me as possible.  I’m glad that they grew up to be responsible adults, but I wish they were still little.  I miss those days so much.  Now that they are adults, I love talking to them about funny memories.  For example, when my daughter was about 6 maybe she drew a lightning bolt on her forehead in pen.  I asked her why she did that and she told me that she didn’t.  She said she was born with it that way.  She was very interested in Harry Potter at the time…lol.  Then she decided that she knew how to do the river dance so anytime we would go to the store or out to eat, she would river dance.  Then there was the Ricky Martin obsession.  It makes me smile remembering those days.  When my son was little, he told me one day that he figured out why an octopus wasn’t a mean animal.  When I asked him why he said it was because they had puss in their name….lol.  He also referred to his hair as his mane and wanted me to throw roses to him when he would go ice skating.  There are so many memories like these that I cherish.  I’m so proud of the lives they are making for themselves.  They are each unique and have their own agendas. I am lucky that I get to sit on the sidelines and watch.  I hope that if they ever need me, they know that I’m here for them.  Today is my son’s birthday.  He’s 25.  He isn’t very happy with some recent choices that I’ve made and he isn’t really speaking to me.  While it hurts that I can’t call him to tell him happy birthday, I hope  he knows how much I love him and miss him.  As most people do when they are hurt and arguing, we’ve said some very cruel things to each other recently.  I am truly sorry and I hope he will someday forgive me and let me back into his life.  Nothing either of my children could do anything that would ever make me not want to be part of their lives.  Just because they’ve grown into adults doesn’t mean that my job as a mom is over.  It’s a lifetime position with ups and downs, good times, and hard times, that I am more than willing to accept.  I love my children more than I ever knew I could love another person.  I will be here for them for as long as I live.  They are the two best things that I’ve ever done and I am so thankful that God gave me the opportunity to be their mom.

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