It’s weigh in day…yuck!

Well, I said I would weigh in every Friday.  It’s that day.  Last week I was busy with my Mom who came to visit, but I still weighed in.  The previous week I was at 313.  Last Friday, I weighed 314 and today almost 315.  I only had two mess up’s while my Mom was here.  Other than that, I’ve still been vegan.  So, I try and I try and I try to lose weight.  I eat lots of fruit and veggies and drink protein shakes.  Someone said to me last week that if I really wanted to change I could just wake up one day and change.  This person also said if I were to “stop eating shitty food and exercise” I would lose weight and be healthier.  Well, thanks for being hurtful.  I don’t eat “shitty food” and I am not really good about exercising, but I’m working on it.  Do you know how hard it is to live less than 5 miles from Elitch Garden’s and not be able to go because I can’t fit on the rides? I can’t go to the store to buy new clothes because usually there isn’t a size big enough to fit me.  I can’t go the show because I can’t fit in the seats comfortably.  Strangers look at me in disgust.  Yes, I know it’s my own fault, but I do have feelings and I feel bad enough about myself without other people’s comments.

Food addiction is not any different than any other addiction.  I don’t think people on crack or meth can just wake up one day and be like, hey I think I’ll quit my bad behavior today and that’s it.  It’s not that easy.  So, I made a decision.  I will admit that I cannot do it on my own.  I have an appointment next Thursday to start the process of having gastric bypass surgery.  As with all of my blog posts, I will ask that if you don’t have anything nice to say about this, don’t comment.  I don’t need anymore negative, rude people in my life. I have talked to several people that I know that have had the surgery.  Yes, I know it’s going to be hard.  Yes, I know I will only be able to eat 2 ounces at a time.  At this point, I am desperate.  I don’t know what else to try.  I had the lap band in 2010, it hasn’t worked, I have tried Atkins, Ketogenics, Slimgenics, Weight Watchers, Thrive, Plexus, Phentermine, South Beach, and probably any other diet out there to no avail.  I can’t keep living with this self hate and loathing.  Please be supportive, I need a big support group.  I know there are risks, but being overweight has risk’s too.  I just can’t keep living like this.  I don’t understand why nothing has worked for me, but giving up is not an option.  We shall see how things go on Thursday and hopefully, I will be on the road to happiness!

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1 thought on “It’s weigh in day…yuck!”

  1. My thoughts are with you. I know losing weight is hard. I carry more weight than I should. I work hard. I eat right. I went off medications that caused me to gain weight. I’ve tried dieting. And I yo-yo up and down. I go to the doctor every month. Some months I have lost 20 pounds. Others I gain 13.

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