Wow!  It’s been a long time since I blogged.  Of course Christmas is always a busy time, trying to make sure you mail cards out and get presents mailed and everything else.  Add a life changing to surgery to all that and things get pretty crazy.

I went in on Monday, November 28th at 6 a.m.  for surgery.  I couldn’t sleep the night before because I was so nervous.  I was so afraid that I was going to die in surgery that I almost backed out.  I was terrified, but something kept me there and going forward.  I think that I knew at that point that I just didn’t have any other way to get healthy.  In the weeks before surgery I was eating worse than ever.  The night before I started my liquid diet, I ate an entire box of cookies and two giant candy bars.  That was after several bowls of cereal.  The people at Taco Bell were starting to know me personally.  At one point while in pre-op I asked my husband and daughter if we could just leave and go to Voodoo donuts.  They said if I really didn’t want the surgery we could leave, but if I was just scared we probably shouldn’t.

After I talked to the surgeon and the anesthesiologist I felt better.  They gave me something for anxiety and off we went to the operating room.  I remember them putting a face mask on and then the next thing I knew I felt like I was in a raft and everything was bright.  They inflated the blanket I was on and moved me to my bed and then I went to the recovery room where I just felt extremely thirsty.  My throat was sore, but they said they couldn’t give me ice chips or water yet.  Next thing I remember is going upstairs to my room where my husband and daughter were.  I might have been on strong medication because the nurse who I was sure was Trevor Siemian, (always a Broncos fan) asked me my name and I told him it was Superstar.  The hospital stay wasn’t too bad, my daughter stayed with me so that made it easier.  My blood pressure which is never usually high was up there for some reason.  I had nausea but didn’t vomit and started walking right away.  I stayed there for 2 days.

When I got home, I slept in the recliner for a few days.  My temperature and blood pressure kept going all over the place which is never good for someone who already has anxiety.  One night I kept getting leg pain and numbness and after talking to my doctor, I was sent to the ER to be checked for a blood clot. Initiate panic attack!  Thank God it was just dehydration causing muscle cramps.  So back home I went thankfully.  All but one incision had almost healed and aside from not having much energy I was feeling good.  At that point I was down 30 pounds.  So last week, I took a shower and was getting dressed when I bent over I heard what sounded like water being poured in the carpet.  I was confused at first but then realized it was blood and saw it squirting like a fountain out of the big incision that hadn’t healed yet.  Again initiate panic!  I yelled for my daughter and husband who came in to see me crying and covered in blood.  I grabbed the first thing out of the laundry basket next to me, a pair of my husband’s socks, and put pressure on the incision.  My daughter somehow knew to pour peroxide on the carpet to remove all the blood that I lost.  My husband got me dressed and we went back to the ER.  They said it was normal, not to worry (yea right), they stopped the bleeding and glued me back together and sent me home.

I know it sounds like a lot of problems, but I still say it was worth it.  I’m not hungry ever and so far I have lost 32 pounds since November 28th.  My anxiety is definitely higher than usual, but things could have been a lot worse.  I pray a lot.  I rely on friends and family for support a lot.  I try to keep my mind busy so I don’t have too much time to think and worry.

Right now my diet is at the soft foods stage.  I can try anything that I can mash with a fork. I have to get 60-80 grams of protein each day.  I am allowed two cups of coffee, but haven’t tried it yet.  No more than 5 grams of sugar per serving of anything.  I go to the doctor this week for him to check on the big incision.  It’s bigger because they took the lap band out through there.  As soon as that heals, I can start working out. I don’t know if any of you watch American Ninja Warrior, but Megan Martin is my inspiration.  That is my goal, to have a body similar to hers.

So, I’m doing good for the most part.  I’m feeling good, but working on controlling my anxiety.  I’m losing weight.  I have healthy goals!  Most important I have a huge support system with the best friends and family that a girl could ask for!  I love you guys!


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